I am going to start this blog by sharing one of my favorite stories. It's just something I picked up on Social Media and I have tried to research the author but can't put a name to these words of wisdom.
So I will just say a silent "thank you" to whoever put this story out into the world. I truly love it and refer to it all the time in almost every situation that I encounter.
It's called "What's in your Cup"
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
"Because someone bumped into me!!!"
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
"Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out."
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside of you will come out.
It's easy to fake it; until you get rattled.
So, ask yourself....."what's in my cup?"
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility?
Anger, bitterness, harsh words, and reactions?
Life provides the cup, YOU choose how to fill it.
I share this story specifically because emotional eating is stemming from a feeling that comes from deep within. I know for me, judgment, comparison, envy, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, & blame used to be in my "cup".
I used food to distract myself from "feeling the feelings" I already felt inside. I did everything I could to avoid letting other people see how unhappy I was on the inside.
I tried to hide it from everyone...Except... for my family that is.
They knew the "real" me. Unfortunately, they saw it all.
The nervous me, the tired me, the frustrated me, the insecure me, the distant me, the private me, the sad me, the lonely me, the scared me, the embarrassed me, the hurt me, the emotional me, the powerless me, the helpless me, the mean me, the spiteful me, resentful me, and the jealous me.
I hated the fact that they had to experience the worst of me, but as the story above shares, life provides you the cup and it is up to you how to want to choose to fill it.
My cup was filled to the brim with secrets. Secrets that I was afraid to share with anyone. Secrets about things that I had done, secrets about things that I had felt, secrets that stretched back as far as my memory could take me, secrets that made me feel ashamed.
Author Brene' Brown says that shame thrives on secret-keeping. She also says that shame is when you can't pull off looking like you have it under control.
"Look perfect, do perfect, be perfect, not good enough." Those are the tapes that replayed over and over in my head. No wonder I had all of that "yuckiness" brewing inside of my cup.
Food seemed to be my only comfort but it was also my biggest enemy because the food was a huge contributor to my "shame storm."
Today, I give myself grace because the one thing I have learned from Brenda's Brown and many other mentors who have helped me break this vicious cycle is that shame can never live in the light.
I hope that sharing this story has shed some light on your deep dark secrets and that you will continue to blossom and grow through this season of your life and that you will learn to fill your cup with love.